Forward

In life we have no choice but to keep moving forward. Note I didn’t say move on. Time stops for no one and the wheels keep turning. When we loose some one we love, part of us is left behind. We are forever changed..

You become out of sync with those who were not broken like you. Your perspective changes. The illusions start to drop away because what you assumed was a reality is tested and many things fail the test. You find out “I am always there for you” was really “when are you going to move on”. You find people standing by you and encouraging you and allowing you to scream, question, rage and whatever else that you have to survive and just pour love and support and you never knew they would be the ones. You find yourself in a place surrounded by people that you thought you were one of, and you realize you never were. Then there are others that are going through their crisis and you loose your way to each other.

The things we are told are important aren’t any longer because it becomes our truth, not theirs. The carrot on a string is seen for what it is, a tool to manipulate.

Our systems that keep the masses calm are tested and we find that they are run by people that answer to themselves. Illusion broken.

This blog has been a necessary step in moving forward. The loss of Alec ….. as I type this there are no right words. Part of my heart, part of my life, part of my future are all gone. We send love out and the love for him just flows into a void to not return…. Part of my very essence just flows out and it gone….

Time slows down. The wheels are like gears that start coming apart. We see the world as an observer not as a runner in a race. We see the players and what is really going on. Our perspective changes.

This blog had two main purposes. The first part was to pay tribute to Alec by the second part; to attempt to influence those investigating his death to do their job. The second part has failed miserably and I hope that we didn’t fail the first part as the second deteriorated. When it became evident that those in charge of the investigation either refuse to see any problems with their handling or worse choose to not properly investigate, the focus evolved to community awareness.

We live in a world where many choose the reality that they want. Perception is reality isn’t it? So they make the decision early on to ignore, rationalize, or minimize what ever would come into conflict with that perception.

Reality: Alec has only been 17 for 10 days and now he is Forever 17 for us. All the could have beens are gone…. We are left replaying the would have and could have knowing that this futile exercise yields nothing good. As a parent we are responsible for our children. Therefore, yes I failed because I didn’t keep him safe and this forever is my reality.

When our children are away from us we have an expectation that those they call their “friends” have their best interest at heart. We don’t always know where or who they are with but we have to hope that they have surrounded themselves with people that have their back. Reality: this isn’t always the case.

We have expectations that other adults will protect and look out for them, but reality is that they won’t.: boot leggers and predators.

Laws are ignored and common sense is not common. Cross the wrong person and laws are used to punish but the choice to execute them or not is in the hands of a few and at their discretion.

Through these years I had a few (only a couple) of friends that tried to reach out but we were diametrically opposed. To them, thank you. These that I reference reached out while the pain and rage was totally untamed. They gave me some good advice: don’t forget the rest of my family. They gave some other that I still to this day do not accept and never will: let it go. This came from a good place and intent because they thought you had to do the latter to succeed at the first.

There was other advice that was rejected: don’t rock the boat.

For those of you that gave this advice, I just ask, where is line that you would be willing to stand alone?

For those that had responsibilities to fulfill and wear the name “Christian” I ask, “How?”

And for those of you that hear them claim that name and ignore their actions I ask the same.

We hear how this country and world is sliding into chaos and it is. The world doesn’t love you but will use you and consume you. Systems that are in place but they are just an illusion. We live in a nation of laws…. What a joke. Those in power do what they want and for political gain they ignore the laws to their advantage.

And the sheeple do nothing. They have been trained so well to listen to the experts (because if you are not an expert on a subject you can’t be right), submit to authority (who are supposed to be servants not overlords).

They call Christians sheeple. A Christian that follows a man and has not the mind of Christ is not following Christ commands. A true Christian is the biggest threat to the status quo because they will refuse to ignore what they see for what they are told. They will hold people accountable and in doing bring glory to God.

The real sheeple are the ones that buy into the illusion that our government and systems will save them and give a _____

Maybe we deserve the system we have because we aren’t willing to do what it takes to make it better.