How can people still have faith in our institutions? I ponder this question often. Is it because their faith has not been tested?

Everyone that I talk to that had has had personal contact feels similar to me though most have conceded to “not rocking the boat”

So, is it a matter of time till we reach critical mass then all those who think they are in control find out they are not OR will continue being lulled into a false sense of security and think they matter?

I don’t know if you have seen the following so I thought I would include it. Gallop shows that faith in our “institutions” continues to deteriorate. Each of these institutions can make excuses as to why. They got bad press…. Everyone is just so negative…. Excuses….

It might be a good time to look at how “you” take care of your business. Keep saying you don’t have any problems, it is everyone else. Blame the ones that don’t think you are as great as you do.

Maybe we are tired of the hypocrisy. Treating us like we are less than you. Many of these are “public service” yet if you ask us, we think you view yourself as an overlord. I don’t trust people that change the rules once the game has started. Changing definitions is a sign of lying.

What does it say about the job you are doing when not even half of people have confidence in you?

If we exercise free speech we are deemed a threat. If we dare to disagree we might just get banned or investigated.

Trust the science, we don’t trust you

For any relationship based on fear, respect is but an illusion.

The philosophy of yield to the enlightened. Also known as take one for the team.

When I hear “greater good” or be a “good global citizen” alarms go off. The problem is that our “leaders” view them self as enlightened and are elitest. The rules that are put in place apply to us not them. I say us beause I am confident they don’t care what I have to say.

My being told to go along to get along and don’t rock the boat are examples of how they want us to submit. The authority they think they have is only becasue we allow them to exhert it. They are not in a role of authority, they are supposed to be servants. Maybe they have rewritten this definition like they do anything else that doesn’t fit their narrative.

They provide lies and illusions. Illusions of justice. Illusion that if you have a disagreement there exist a path to resolve. The great lie, just vote them out. Once someone is “in power” it is like trying to remove weeds from a garden once they take root and seed for a season.

Just because there are promises, photo ops and message control, you are assuming a lot by putting your faith in someone based on these while their actions are more of overlords which live not by the rules they write for we mere peasants.

Watch for the actions that reveal the true intentions. If not, one day we will be but a cog in the global community that despises us and have no memory of what we allowed to slip away without objection and disgracing those who gave all to make it possible in the first place.

You may have noticed a few changes on this blog.

This blog is changing as am I. I had linked my worth with the success of getting justice for my son. This was in error. We cannot make others do what is right or even what they are obligated to do. We can only control ourselves and how we choose to react. I have allowed myself to react. Rage, outrage, self loathing. Acting on our emotions is how we are manipulated and also how we are beaten. We have been strung along, told things to appease us, and misled. Why would some one do this? Because it is hard to stay the course. It is considerably harder to stay the course when you are emotionaly charged. One can only stand next to a fire so long.

I still struggle with how so few people care about those we place in roles of responsiblilty. We like to talk about the failures of Washington but we won’t take care of the same issues we have in our own communities. Part of it is people can’t accept that someone they support does something wrong.

I believe this to be a pride issue. They can’t accept that something wrong is happening on their watch. Some people would rather hide the truth so their community looks like the standard they profess. Lies. We all know the saying, admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Maybe this is why our country continues to slide into lawlessness. When those responsible for the laws live by a different standard and the people that put them there won’t hold them accountable, you get what you desreve.

For those few of you that follow this blog…. THANK YOU. There is a consistant theme, no change from Hempstead or hey, let’s get our hopes up so we can crash. UGH I really thought this blog would make a difference but man am I stupid.

I have really stuggled with what this blog should become understanding reality.

An update that helped cause change was choice 1.

A place to help reach out to others in the same situation choice 2.

A place to share the struggles of grief choice 3.

A place to just try to work out the pain choice 4…..

(fill in the blacnk)

So, I have come to the realization that no one will do anything that results in change unless they are one of the few of us that the system has failed. Hey, I get it, don’t break what ain’t broken. Until you realize it is broken, it ain’t.

Just to clarify, I put all this out there for MY SON. My personal belief of what he deserves from a system that claims certian things. What I had to come to terms with is that my doing him justice is not based upon the action of the audieance but rather that I have stood on his behalf honerabely. All those that failed to act on his behalf, or the people in the system that didn’t do their job, that is on you. In other words how everyone else reacts is not the judgement of me doing ALEC right, it is each person’s own judgment. I recogninze that I am not a motivatiional speaker. If that is what is required then I don’t want to play that rigged game anyway. If we present facts and and they are rejected, who is that a refelection on ? Wow, I feel freer.

Many people thought what I have done/am doing is wrong. Well, if you don’t think what i am doing is right, either help or get out of the way because until you have been in someone else’s shoes don’t begin to give advice because your ignorance is showing and I don’t care.

Many people don’t like that I have pushed this. My question to you is, do you really think your opinion matters to me ? My child is gone and your opinion means squat…. What are you going to do, take my birthday away?

Some of you reading this are probably wonderig what the???? But for those in each of the above categories I KNOW they understand and KNOW who I am talking to. They have no control nor do they matter to me and they cannot manipulate, cohercice (bully for those not good with big words), or steer my actions or beliefs.

Truth: I failed as a father or my child would be here. Would have , Could Have, Should Have, for six and 1/2 years.

I do my best to fight this fight and be who I need to be for my family. If I fail, then I fail but I do the best I can.

Outside Judgment is not welcome, assistance is.

See, in life if we see someone struggling do we condemne or offer to help ? I try to be the latter. Each of us needs to ask that question though.

Back to the beginning. Thank you for enduring my rant if you are still here.

Where can we go with this blog to make a difference in the world ?

Share the struggles with grief?

Share stories where wronged by the system?

Forget it because no one cares except about their own little world ?

I am going to move forward one way or another. I have been on hold for 6.5 years and something has to give. PLEASE give me some feedback…..

If you are reading this expecting an update on Alec’s case, the update is that there is no update. Been pretty much the same for 5 ½ years with a few high hope moments.

This in and of itself speaks volumes to the efficiency of our system. During the “pause” of all of the new updates this blog will take on a different dimension. NOTE: If you are accessing this and have an interest in receiving updates, please follow the blog and receive notifications directly due to social media censoring.

I speak from personal experience and have come to clear realizations. Alec’s case, like many others, did not meet the hidden criteria that would have placed it in the category in which it mattered to be aired publicly. Let me explain. In review with a local area news agency, supposedly they were going to tell Alec’s story, but due to social unrest at that time that station stood behind Blue Lives Matter and aired stories along that line while just before they had disclosed corruption, issues, etc… Alec’s story and the handling would have brought into question a stance that they were supporting. So, ask me if I believe there is any bias in media? I believe they only show and report what supports the narrative they want to put forth. The bigger question is who decides that narrative. Now before you jump to any conclusions, lets dig deeper into an area.

I believe HATE is wrong. What I believe is worse than hate, are those that sow, feed off of, and make a living from it. We have so many issues in our country right now that are compounded by the fruit of years of feeding and growing hate. Why would some one do this? Because it gives them power. If we stay busy warring against each other we will never solve our problems. If we did solve our problems two things would happen. We wouldn’t need these hate peddlers to save us and we would have time to see what they are up to.

We as people need to connect. I believe this connection is the key that makes the others in that connection real, people, that they matter in our eyes. Unless we see others as people we will fail. I dare anyone involved in Alec’s case to say the level of professionalism and attention given would have been the same if it were their child. I am not the only one the system has failed. People can be put into three categories, ones that the system has failed, ones that the system served, and those that may think they know but have not tested it yet ( I assumed it worked for all). So what am I saying ? We must address failures, deficiencies and accountability head on with no sacred cows. I am not saying all police are bad but if you say we cannot talk about real problems, we are now opposing forces with no room for actually solving a problem. This can be applied to teachers, preachers, institutions, businesses. If you take the stand nothing wrong can occur in this area, give me a few minutes and I will find case upon case where that trust has been violated.

At the same time you cannot argue all are evil while looking for blood (figuratively) and expect to facilitate change.

All of this comes down to people. People are our point of contact with these professions and institutions. People choose to what standard they live. I believe these people in positions of authority must remember to value the lives they serve and for which are impacted by their decisions.

How did we get to a point where people’s lives do not have a value? What are the messages we hear concerning the value of life? Maybe we could blame movies, videos games, and music. Maybe these are not the causal but rather resultant. There are plenty of people telling you that all your problems are because you are a victim. Surrender your authority over your life to them and they will make everything alright. There is so much talk about don’t judge. People wear this out by taking it out of context to shutdown a conversation. At the same time, I don’t think people understand what that statement means. If two people want reconciliation, the one that has done wrong owns their choices and the other doesn’t hold it against them. It isn’t the words, it is a convincing in the heart. There are two parts to this to be successful, true communication and a desire for a relationship, without that desire what does it matter anyway. In reality we must be aware of threats to our safety and the well being of those we care about. This is not being judgmental but rather prudent. We must all check ourselves and our motives. Human nature loves to tear down or we can choose a different path. We must ask ourselves do want vengeance or resolution.

If you come back, we will talk about trust.

Peace be with you

It has been 5 years. It amazes me that in 5 years nothing has happened but everything changed in the matter of moments. The struggle is constant to hold on to being thankful to God for the gift of the time we had while there has been no accountability for the time we were robbed of.

This is a difficult message to write. If you have followed any of this you know the despair, rage, frustration. You also know that 5 years later and all that has happened is that his case is reopened and as soon as the coroner (new coroner) reviewed it was agreed not a suicide.

For those of you reading this, I ask you to think about a few things that I will present below for your consideration.

I was asked “why do you act like you do”? How would you act? What answer is expected to that question? I understand where this is coming from because there are basically 3 groups of people and very little movement between groups. The group like me that want answers and accountability, the group that wants this to go away for their own reasons, and the group that doesn’t want to get involved and their reasons vary but the result is the same.

I love my son just as I love all my children. We as parents are tasked with keeping our children safe and I failed or Alec would still be here. I live with this daily. I can’t go back in time and prevent it and know nothing that happens will change that he is forever 17.

I act like I do because I live in a community that I thought I knew. I thought that my child would be safe around adults that are in our community. I thought that if he did do something stupid that there would be someone that would step up and look out for him. I thought that law enforcement would act professionally. I thought people that claimed to be his friends would stand by him. I thought that our justice system worked.

There are laws in place for a reason, but they are like a roll bar, you are in trouble already if you have to use them but I thought they would be enforced. I was wrong on so many fronts.

I am not disillusioned any more. You want to know why I act like I do? I am awake and my eyes are open and see things for what they are.

Another question for you, have you told your children, grand children, friends about what happened to Alec? That they better know who they are with and be sure they can trust them with their life, because they are? Please have these conversations. They may not listen, but they just might.

Have you thought about what you would do if you were in our situation or do you think “the system” will work when you need it like we did? I guess everyone thinks it will until it doesn’t. That is the grand illusion isn’t it? Maybe that is why our country is where it is. Filled with hate and turning one group against another. Then you can’t disagree with an action or inaction or you are a conspiracy theorist or trouble maker.

Respect for a position or office only goes so far as your first interaction, then it is earned by who you are dealing with. My problems are specific in nature, not condemning as a whole but if you don’t keep your people in check and hold them to a standard then the problem now becomes yours. If you try to cover up their failures instead of taking responsibility then be aware, your character is showing.

Do you realize that when the laws are not enforced the threat of a recurrence exist? Enforcement does nothing for what happened, but it could save the next one or at the very least communicate to the community that this is not acceptable.

Do you realize that there are different standards for different people? They say that justice is blind but I believe it only is when it is being watched. I believe that a senator’s son would have had a full investigation. I also believe that some people get a pass. Like the kid with the right name whose name doesn’t show up in the paper while others do. I guess you are happy with this if you have the right name.

Ever wonder where conspiracy theorist come from? They are made. They are told they are being fed steak but they realize it is the excrement instead. It happens when people with common sense say, NO, 2+2 does not equal 3 and will not accept it just because they are told to accept it and to not rock the boat. They may not know what the answer is, but they sure know what its not. When you can’t figure out why a person gets a pass, you are left to speculate. Are they friends, do they have dirt, how are they connected ? Welcome to being a conspiracy theorist.

Last question, do you realize that by refusing to get involved and/or looking the other way you support the status quo?

We are doing this because Alec deserves better and even though this process is frustrating and exhausting, we are not going away nor are we giving up no matter the resistance, roadblocks or delays.

To family and friends and all those support justice for Alec, thank you.