For those few of you that follow this blog…. THANK YOU. There is a consistant theme, no change from Hempstead or hey, let’s get our hopes up so we can crash. UGH I really thought this blog would make a difference but man am I stupid.
I have really stuggled with what this blog should become understanding reality.
An update that helped cause change was choice 1.
A place to help reach out to others in the same situation choice 2.
A place to share the struggles of grief choice 3.
A place to just try to work out the pain choice 4…..
(fill in the blacnk)
So, I have come to the realization that no one will do anything that results in change unless they are one of the few of us that the system has failed. Hey, I get it, don’t break what ain’t broken. Until you realize it is broken, it ain’t.
Just to clarify, I put all this out there for MY SON. My personal belief of what he deserves from a system that claims certian things. What I had to come to terms with is that my doing him justice is not based upon the action of the audieance but rather that I have stood on his behalf honerabely. All those that failed to act on his behalf, or the people in the system that didn’t do their job, that is on you. In other words how everyone else reacts is not the judgement of me doing ALEC right, it is each person’s own judgment. I recogninze that I am not a motivatiional speaker. If that is what is required then I don’t want to play that rigged game anyway. If we present facts and and they are rejected, who is that a refelection on ? Wow, I feel freer.
Many people thought what I have done/am doing is wrong. Well, if you don’t think what i am doing is right, either help or get out of the way because until you have been in someone else’s shoes don’t begin to give advice because your ignorance is showing and I don’t care.
Many people don’t like that I have pushed this. My question to you is, do you really think your opinion matters to me ? My child is gone and your opinion means squat…. What are you going to do, take my birthday away?
Some of you reading this are probably wonderig what the???? But for those in each of the above categories I KNOW they understand and KNOW who I am talking to. They have no control nor do they matter to me and they cannot manipulate, cohercice (bully for those not good with big words), or steer my actions or beliefs.
Truth: I failed as a father or my child would be here. Would have , Could Have, Should Have, for six and 1/2 years.
I do my best to fight this fight and be who I need to be for my family. If I fail, then I fail but I do the best I can.
Outside Judgment is not welcome, assistance is.
See, in life if we see someone struggling do we condemne or offer to help ? I try to be the latter. Each of us needs to ask that question though.
Back to the beginning. Thank you for enduring my rant if you are still here.
Where can we go with this blog to make a difference in the world ?
Share the struggles with grief?
Share stories where wronged by the system?
Forget it because no one cares except about their own little world ?
I am going to move forward one way or another. I have been on hold for 6.5 years and something has to give. PLEASE give me some feedback…..
The Illusion of Justice 
I have no words. Your blog allows me to get just a very small glimpse of what you are feeling. I cannot imagine the hard reality of how such an injustice feels or how hard it is to live with that reality every day. I pray against those who will not come forward and reveal the truth and tell who is responsible. I pray they are miserable until they do.
Love your whole family. I don’t think you realize how very strong you are to endure day after day, year after year. You have endured. You are a testimony of keeping on regardless. I pray God continues to keep you all in His tender care in such a way that you feel His very presence in a mighty way.
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The support of our true friends allow another day to be faced. No judgement, no critisim, just love. That is the what is needed if we change where we are as a nation and a people. Thank you
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We think about you guys all the time and the unbelievable grief and injustice you have endured and our many prayers are still with you and your family and still praying justice one day will be served
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Charlie we pray for you and your family always. Every time I think of you the struggle you go through breaks my heart. I don’t know what the answer is but I know that God holds Alex in his hands just like he does our Shane. Love you both and will continue to pray for you
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Praying for you Charlie. If this blog helps you release even a fraction of what you feel on a daily basis, just know that those of us that read it…it’s our way of trying to share that pain with you, you keep doing this for as long as you need, and we will keep reading.
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I can not imagine. It’s ashame it’s been so long with no answers. Prayers for peace for your family. As that seems to be the only way to move on with God and prayer. I don’t blame you for never giving up. But, I am sure it’s exhausting.
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